Friday, June 15, 2018

Multiple sclerosis

Hello.  It's been a very long time since I wrote in this blog, a good thing really.  However life circumstances have changed somewhat and a feel the need to return only this time it's not to talk about depression.

In December 2017 I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis so the theme of this blog will now be about my experiences living with MS and adjusting to the new me, whatever that is.  Funnily enough, the name of my blog "Standing up When Falling Down" is still very appropriate for me as I do literally fall down at times with balance issues.

How does one begin to wrap one's head around a life changing diagnosis such as MS?  Firstly it was a relief to get a diagnosis, to know what was causing what were at times, debilitating symptoms.  It was a long process to get a diagnosis, a period of six months where I was tested for almost everything I could possibly imagine.  Thanks goes to my GP who left no stone unturned in an effort to find out the cause of my symptoms.  An MRI finally gave the definitive answer.

While discovering I had MS was a shock, my first thought was "I'm so glad I don't have cancer."  MS seemed to be in the realms of something I could manage although my knowledge of what MS is was at that time limited.  So I've been trying to educate myself on the ins and outs of this disease ever since.

Being unpredictable symptom wise is probably one of the hardest things I'm adjusting to having MS as there is little indication as to how I will feel day to day.  I do know that I can't do as much physically as I use to, that in itself is a huge source of frustration.  A keen gardener, a country girl who likes to get her hands in the soil and grow things, has given me much joy for 25 years.  That has almost come to a stand still and to be blunt, it sucks big time.  I love walking, getting out in the fresh air with my dog on a daily basis, that too has virtually come to a stop with only very short walks perhaps a couple of times a week as my energy levels permit.  The one thing I'm grateful for is I enjoy craft, crochet, knitting, sketching, these are the things that have kept me sane in some small way while energy levels have left me either in bed or sitting on the couch.   Being able to create is a very good thing when one is sitting for many hours a day.

So what do I want out of this blog now?  A place for me to ponder, wonder, think, vent, muse, learn and maybe in time, encourage.  Thank you for taking time to read if you have.  More to come soon.

Anne




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