Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Thinking so hard it hurts

I have had a lot to think about in the last few weeks.  Thinking about how to manage stress, how to be encouraging to others when the well is dry, how to cope with disappointment and the opinions of others which don't quite hit the mark.  I'm thinking about how things change, and you don't know why, and wonder what on earth you can do to understand.  I'm thinking about how I've tried to improve situations and make changes, yet it seems to make no difference.  

I'm thinking about how to cope with hurt that was/is caused by things not intentional.  I like to hope I'm an understanding person, and I do try very hard to always see two sides of every story and  I do.  But  that doesn't stop the deep seated, lead feeling in my stomach.

I've never been one to cry easily, and it takes a lot to really upset me.  Oh yes, I get annoyed, sling off a bit about things that are stupid, but this, I'm struggling.  Sadness, it's so very different to anger.  Anger is fiery, hot, combustible.  Sadness, just sits with you, weighing you down.

Really, I am o.k.  Life has some strange stages in it, and I suppose this is just one of them to ponder and try to make sense of.  So I'll think a bit more and perhaps it will all become clearer than mud.