Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Thinking so hard it hurts

I have had a lot to think about in the last few weeks.  Thinking about how to manage stress, how to be encouraging to others when the well is dry, how to cope with disappointment and the opinions of others which don't quite hit the mark.  I'm thinking about how things change, and you don't know why, and wonder what on earth you can do to understand.  I'm thinking about how I've tried to improve situations and make changes, yet it seems to make no difference.  

I'm thinking about how to cope with hurt that was/is caused by things not intentional.  I like to hope I'm an understanding person, and I do try very hard to always see two sides of every story and  I do.  But  that doesn't stop the deep seated, lead feeling in my stomach.

I've never been one to cry easily, and it takes a lot to really upset me.  Oh yes, I get annoyed, sling off a bit about things that are stupid, but this, I'm struggling.  Sadness, it's so very different to anger.  Anger is fiery, hot, combustible.  Sadness, just sits with you, weighing you down.

Really, I am o.k.  Life has some strange stages in it, and I suppose this is just one of them to ponder and try to make sense of.  So I'll think a bit more and perhaps it will all become clearer than mud.



  1. Sometimes it helps to think a bit less! I know I have been there and it is difficult for Nature to heal as it will if we are constantly going over things in our minds. Acceptance is key - all very well I know and not so easy to achieve!! Hope that time the great healer will do its work soon and you will be back from this "down" period and ready for some "up" time!

  2. I think I am in one of those sad down times too where nothing feels right and positive even though you don't feel depressed or down. It too shall pass. Try not to feel guilty - rule 9. Excellent advice but still hard to apply. Cherrie

  3. I think MJ has hit the nail on the head...Acceptance.
    I was forever fighting against being 'ill'. I felt if I didn't then I had given up and would never get better! The old beat-myself-up syndrome.
    Noe, I am more laid back and, for the most part, feel it was just the best thing I have done!
    Here's to your 'up'time!
    Z xx
    PS MY word was fooll-ha ha!

  4. Stop thinking!!!
    I think (haha!) people who suffer from anxiety and depression over-think things too much!
    It's a constant battle for me!
    The mind/imagination/feelings can be such a bully sometimes.
    Sometimes you just have to decide who is steering the boat.

    And here's something I'm working one.
    Trying to cry.
    You know all the unpleasantness I've had, I've never cried! - that's just bloody ridiculous!
    But I just find it so hard.
    I reckon that's a big problem with anx.& dep. - not letting sadness out - holding it in and turning it on yourself.
    I haven't quite figured out how to cry yet but I'm "investigationing". I'll let you know if I find any good methods to make the tears come out.

  5. I over think all the time. I'm far far busier these days & people have seen a huge change in me. One friend said that I was " lighter " I see less of the draining friends who exhaust me. Not to say I'm not there for people, I am but some are so attention seeking it's exhausting being with them.

    I keep a journal of pictures & comments where I write the horrible things said to me and the positive ones. It's like saying " up yours " to those who've hurt me !

    Hope you can find a way to turn this around. It's hard I know xx

  6. Hi Anne
    It's a tough one.. it's hard to stop things effecting us emotionally.. It's a bit of a gut reaction at times.. I know I can feel this way also and I'm not sure I've found an answer I just try to 'de-personalize' it.. Although.. having said that.. I hate that saying.. 'it's not personal'.. haha.. most things are..

    Well I am 'myer the cryer'.. it's pathetic.. haha.. wish I could get a grip on that also..

    Have a great week.. and try to just 'let go of things'...

    OH.. and thanks for visiting me!! ciao xxx Julie

  7. Hello, Im so glad I found you!
    Depression, pain, and family that don't understand are the fatal mix that I find difficult...extremely difficult to cope with. You just can't get away from them....literally. People say such STUPID things, and whether they realize it or not it's more hurt to deal with and I myself am sick of it. My next message is quirky...
    I want you NOT to think about a RED CAR!!!! Nope...don't think about it....Ah Ha! you're thinking about it....that's what it's like to be sad about an incident/hurtful statement and then try not to think about it! Almost impossible, especially if you are a recluse and immobilized by pain much of the time...I stare and the ceiling and the red cars are all over the bloody place! I hope you keep on getting through and if you find more tricks to numb the brain (other than a bottle of wine or a malt whiskey) please let me know. Love your new blog keep it up for all of us who don't!!

  8. It's a very nice text you wrote and makes me think. Life and changes are not easy but you always have to look on the bright side of life - monty python - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ - watch this video it will cheer you up !
    Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog !
    Love Ella