Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Dreams that exhaust

Last night or early this morning I had a dream, a dream so bizarre it's not worth talking about except to say that I woke up exhausted.  This is not the only time I've been exhausted by dreams and somehow I just don't understand why.  I wake up feeling like I've been hit by a truck and it takes me forever to get going.

Tuesday morning is yoga morning and as I missed my class last week I really didn't want to miss another one.  So I dragged myself there as I know it's a time I can be quiet and still in my mind.  To just BE.  Well this is what we strive for in yoga, to be in the moment, to be in tune with your body etc.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who struggles with thinking about everyday thoughts, things to be done at home instead of being in the moment.  "Chattering monkeys" is what my yoga teacher calls them.  However this morning I had "chattering monkeys" and a body that just didn't want to move to deal with.

I always believed sleep should  be a time of rest and rejuvenation, a relaxing of the body and mind but now I'm not so sure.  I'd like to know what causes this exhaustion after dreams as it sets me up for a very lethargic day.  Does anyone else have this happen?  I'd love to know.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Visiting my tree

It's time for me to visit my tree again to remind myself I can indeed stand up when I'm falling down.  The past few months have been nice ones with school holidays taking away much of the daily stress that contributes so much to how I feel.  Well the holidays are well and truly over and it's back to the normal routine with a few changes here and there.

Miss G. is in her last year of school and with it bringing many new challenges for her.  She has a lighter load than other students as she put in a lot of hard work last year to complete two VCE subjects.  That means she has more free time during the school day and is able to get some of her homework done at school.  We hope this means life will be a little easier for her at home, but it doesn't seem to be working out that way so far.  We have had quite a few discussions on how to manage time, be organised etc., all those things essential for reducing stress.  Hopefully some of it will be taken on board.  She has a leadership position this year which brings it's own set of stresses, however she seems to be thriving in the environment which is good.

This is such an interesting time for both of us, as a teenager becomes closer to the age of legally being an adult, the transition to making their own decisions and being responsible for themselves but also still needing support from Mum and Dad.  I'm sure it must be quite frustrating, exciting and a little bit scary for her.  Meanwhile I sit back and observe and hope I can offer sound advice if she asks for it. 

So the focus this year will be very much on Miss G. and while this is as it needs to be, in amongst the craziness this year will bring, I need to remember to look after me so I can look after her.  And how best to do that is something I'm experimenting with.  I have done a lot of soul searching about what is important to me and I still come back to things like, being still, being in the moment, being quiet.  Rushing around and being too busy is not for me.  I am looking at a book from the library at the moment with advice that is relevent to where I think my state of mind and body should be.  I've found it to be quite comforting and if when I get to the end I still like it, I might purchase a copy to have on my bedside table.

Another thing I'm finding helpful to get the day of to a better start is to clear my mind and sit for a few minutes to just be.  I am trying to walk in the morning for exercise and am finding that I'm out the door in a big rush before I've had time to do this.  Time constraints and all that.  Still, it's something I can keep working toward.

It's been nice visiting my tree again.  I'm so glad I have this space/place to mull things over.